Having a relationship with someone doesn’t mean you will always see eye to eye. There will be disputes, disagreements and even blown out arguments.
And they will not feel nice, sometimes they will be confrontational and sometimes you will have to say or hear bitter truths.
But arguments are not about proving you wrong or making you feel stupid and small. They are and should always have the end results of understanding each other better.
As horrible as an argument makes you feel they will feel just as bad, because a disagreement with a loved one is something we always want to avoid.
Healthy conversations with disputes is always a good thing but the intention of having a conversation should never be for sake of starting a fight.
Even if they do not understand what you are going through they will take the time to listen to how you feel.
They will also make the effort to explain where they have realised they were wrong statements like ‘I didn’t know this made you feel a certain way, I will make an effort not to do say/ do it again’ is genuine.
They will make the effort not to do or say what is hurtful for you even if they don’t think it is.
At the same time they are comfortable sharing their own triggers and explaining why they react a certain way and the justification will be understandable.
Having an open channel of communication will always allow you to feel comfortable and honest with each other.
And although we cannot always understand everything about each other, if someone cares for you they will accept you as you are, without the need for reasons behind it.
If you like having chips with ice cream, and you are having a bad day they will get that for you even if the combination repulse them.
Having a relationship with someone doesn’t mean that you will not get hurt by them, only those who matter to you will have the ability to affect you, but it means that they will never have the intention to hurt you with malice.
It means that they want you the way you are and if they do not fully understand you they will make the effort to try.
And if they do hurt you unintentionally, that will affect them too because they empathise with you.
At the same time whatever will make you happy will make them happy too because they understand that your happiness is just as important to them as their own.
Reflect. Love. Heal.
Brown Girl R.