Personal boundaries provide a guideline with rules and limits for yourself that identify how others behaviours and actions can be categorised as safe and permissible.
It allows you to identify what behaviours are acceptable and which ones are not to safeguard your physical and emotional well being.
However in order to put personal boundaries into place effectively it is important to understand what you think is acceptable behaviours by first understanding your wants and needs.
It is only when we are comfortable and confident with knowing who we are, are we able to identify our needs and put them first by prioritising our wellbeing under all circumstances and with all.
It is always difficult to communicate boundaries, especially by loved ones who have expectations, or family where you have been raised to accept things that you no longer find acceptable.
It can be particularly difficult if you have put new boundaries in place that redefine acceptable actions and behaviours.
Especially if people around are resistant to change or don’t understand how certain behaviours were acceptable in the past and no longer acceptable now.
It is often followed by remarks like “you’ve changed” or “I don’t know who you are anymore” which is fine and should even be embraced because growth requires change and change is a good thing when you put yourself first!
It is really important both for yourself and others to communicate your boundaries clearly.
Sometimes boundaries can be scary to communicate. You can sometimes fear the consequences of putting your boundaries in place. The ‘what if’s can be daunting’.
What if they don’t like me anymore? what if I loose them? What if I am being selfish? What if I hurt their feelings?
And the list goes on.
But boundaries are not selfish, taking care of your wellbeing should not be defined by others reactions to your needs.
In order to communicate boundaries effectively make sure you make a list of things that people may no longer do to you, say to you, or do around you. Understand your need for physical and emotional space.
Then communicate in line with these boundaries.
Explain to people close to you the change in your mind set.
Express what behaviours you experienced that hurt you and are no longer aceptable.
Make sure you respect others boundaries and be willing to have an open conversation about it.
Make sure your boundaries are flexible (but always prioritising your needs) and don’t turn into rigid walls.
Boundaries are forever evolving and particularly important if you are a people pleaser that puts others needs before your own.
reflect. love. heal always.
Brown Girl N