If this lockdown has taught us anything, it is that for relationships that matter distance is no obstacle, and lack of physical contact is no barrier.
What matters is the effort and preference we give each other.
We have learned that kindness breeds more kindness, and with it it brings compassion and care.
It teaches us to respect our differences and celebrate our similarities.
But showing kindness to others shouldn’t take way from treating yourself with kindness, being compassionate and treating yourself with care.
One of the main foundations of building your boundaries is looking after yourself and showing others how you would like to be treated.
It is voicing what is not acceptable but at the same time being able to communicate and encourage what is.
It is creating clear barriers preventing negativity and toxicity to consume you whilst opening doors to love, positivity and encouraging appropriate conduct.
There have been so many different ways of staying in touch, endless opportunities for us to look after one another, there are so many new ways for us to support one another, that to say we cannot do anything because of social distancing is not a viable excuse.
Helping and supporting one another is not just beneficial to them but it is remedy for us to feel better about ourselves, it makes us feel good and in turn allows us to show others how we would like to be treated.
Because life is all about balance, there is good and bad, positive and negative and there is give and take.
When we do for others, we shouldn’t expect the same in return (for example I did shopping for you so next time you need to do shopping for me) but we are creating a support system allowing us all to be able to lean on each other.
We must not take advantage later on but at the same time we cannot let others feel free to take advantage of us either.
If someone is unable to go shopping and relies on you that doesn’t allow them to be dismissive to your efforts because they cannot reciprocate the same way.
If someone is in need of your support because they are going through a rough patch doesn’t mean they can disregard your emotions and feelings.
Building boundaries shouldn’t stop us from doing what we can for others, it is being assertive and clear in what we require and what we do not accept.
There have been many different reactions to the lockdown and while some have been adhering to the governments rulings others have been dismissive, some are finding solace in routine while others have been overwhelmed.
We need to do what we can for others but we cannot let others opinions influence our own decisions.
If someone is missing you and really wants you to come over, but you know that they have been in contact with others, then you cannot let yourself be emotionally blackmailed into doing what you are uncomfortable with and what you think is not right.
If you are the one others call when they are feeling low and troubled, to the point where it is overwhelming for you, then it is okay for you to step back and take a break. You should be able to voice that you need space.
When other expect from you without considering what you are going through then you need to be able to explain your priorities without the guilt.
Reiterating your boundaries is a reminder to yourself that you also have needs and you are not just a vessel for others to take from.
Your feelings, desires and responsibilities are just as important and in order for you to do your best for others, firstly you need to do for you.
Reflect. Love. Heal.
Brown Girl R