When there is no space in your relationship for you, your needs, your growth or happiness is it really a relationship?
No relationship is fully balanced all the time and that is ok.
Sometimes one partner needs more support than the other and at times one makes more sacrifices.
As long as you are both working as a team towards shared goals that is fine.
What is not okay is when you are doing ALL the work, making all the sacrifices and when everyday life, conversations and interactions cater solely to your partners wants and needs.
When your whole life revolves around someone whose whole life revolves around themselves you are treading on dangerous grounds.
When everything becomes about someone else to the point where you don’t even recognise yourself, when you don’t know what you want, need or what brings you joy it is time to stop and reflect.
More importantly if you are in a place where you are afraid to express yourself, when talking about what you need or want becomes an argument and when you are not allowed to pursue your goals and wishes then you might need to seek outside help.
In such cases watch out for red flags when you are communicating your wants and needs.
Are you able to express your concerns about your relationship safely?
Are you able to tell your partner that their actions or words hurt you and do they listen with empathy and concern?
Do they apologise when they are wrong or flip it on you so no matter what the situation you are always in the wrong?
If your answer is no, please reach out to someone, because living like that can be detrimental to your wellbeing and can only get worse over time.
When everything becomes about someone else and you have no space to express or voice your concerns, wants, needs and feelings.
When there is constant manipulation and control and you start to internalise your feelings and silence your joys and wants, that is when you need to recognise the red flags and face them.
They won’t go away because you want them to or hope that they will.
Things that you ignore will not fix themselves.
Making all the compromises will not make things easier.
Doing more, being better, giving in will not make someone care about you or love you more.
You need to put yourself first.
You need to love yourself so that others can love you the right way and your biggest concern should always be you and and your wellbeing.
Never allow someone else make you question yourself, retrace your steps, affect your confidence or self-worth.
Because you deserve to be heard, to be cared for, to be supported through your biggest dreams and achievements and you should be able to share all of you with someone you have chosen to spend your life with.
reflect. love. heal always
Brown Girl N