We all have fears rational or irrational.
They stem from personal experiences or trauma and can sometimes have substantial impact on us.
What we need to remember is, where fear is created is where fear resides and that is in our thoughts.
And though our imagination knows no bounds or limits and the fear we create in our minds can have catastrophic effects on our well being the fear itself and the magnitude of its impact can only be controlled by how we think of it.
And I realise it’s easier said than done and just because we want to get over a fear doesn’t mean we just can.
Depending on the hold the fear has over us sometimes it takes a little more effort and more work to understand that the fear is all in our minds and only we have the ability to work on getting over it.
The first step to help get over your fears is to try and understand them. What is the reason behind the fear?
For myself I have always been afraid of the open sea, especially the thought of being stranded in the middle of one.
But I have never actually been in the middle of the sea let alone stranded in one and nor do I have any plans to.
But when I try to understand my fear I realise I am more of afraid of exposing myself to the unknown and facing things that seem bigger than I am.
And my fear is not that I will fail at the challenges I face, rather I might lose myself trying to overcome them.
And when I try to understand my fear I see that the fear is more thinking about the consequences in its worst case scenario rather that the concept of what it is.
And that can be applied to everything for example the fear of spiders isn’t that the spider itself is scary it’s the fear of what it might do, how it might feel if it started to crawl on us.
The unknown is what we fear the most because it is something which we have absolutely no control over.
The ‘what ifs’ the ‘what might / mightn’t’ make us feel uneasy and unsure and instead of embracing the future and the possibilities it comes with we tend to mask it behind a phobia turning it into a ‘reasonable’ fear.
But what we should be doing is looking at the fear as an opportunity to grow, an opportunity to learn more about ourselves.
Instead of letting the fear become a hindrance, try to understand the problem behind the fear, remember that not only is it created our minds but it’s up to us to visualise how much it controls us.
And lastly and most importantly (and maybe with most difficultly) see the fear as a challenge you can overcome.
You might not be successful the first time but don’t let that dishearten you from trying again for each effort you make makes you better and stronger.
You’ve got this!
Reflect. Love. Heal.
Brown Girl R.