Being a good listener doesn’t require us to follow a long list of complicated rules.
We do not need to master the art of good communication to be a good listener.
Listening is a critical human capacity, one that can make us better partners, leaders, spouses, friends, parents and people.
Listening should be about learning and understanding rather than to know and respond.
In order to do this we must first listen with the intention to understand what is being said or what someone might be trying to tell us.
This doesn’t mean that we will necessarily understand what is being said and may have to exercise some patience in allowing the other person to articulate their thoughts freely.
It is a starting point of being a good listener.
Often times when we are listening without the intention to understand we can respond defensively, respond to make a point or argue which often leaves the other person unheard and at times misunderstood.
The conversation looses the essence of listening.
Especially as we respond while the other person is still talking.
As you practice listening to understand remind yourself of your intention.
Even if you may not understand the other person, making the effort to do so conveys a level of respect and wisdom that is invaluable and an integral part of conversing.
If your mind wanders off during a conversation, practice being aware of why and where your thoughts go to and redirect it back to the conversation.
Often times people may need a listening ear and nothing more.
Just to be heard and their thoughts validated.
When you want to listen to someone you care about, and really hear what they are saying be present and remind yourself of what your goal is.
Remind yourself that “my goals is to understand, it isn’t to solve or respond”.
Because listening can set someone free from a burden, from a worry or an overwhelming thought.
Listening can be a powerful comfort for someone that wants to be heard and even more so for someone that wants to be understood.
Let us know in the comments below about your experiences with listening to understand.
reflect. love. heal always